Bring Him Home
by Hank-o-holic
Summary: ON HIATUS - Tricia Takanawa is in for the ride of her life when fellow pervert Glenn Quagmire pleads for her help in rescuing Peter after he's kidnapped by a mysterious organization. Adam West tags along out of his own will, and the three "amigos" must infiltrate the headquarters and... well... bring him home!


**Bring Him Home**

_Prologue_

...

_March 2000_

"Okay, is the camera rolling? You got it? Need help? No? Okay good."

Tricia Takanawa stood before a dimly-lit, smelly hotel-room and an old bed. She didn't want to do it... but the ratings... that's all she was focused on right now. She'd do anything for her job, that's how she was.

The camera man, after finally setting up shop, prepared to air. "You're live in 3... 2..."

And so on the cadence went.

"Thank you Diane. Sex... some people have it anonymously. 'What kind of person would do that?' you might ask? Well, I'm about to find out."

Tricia slowly began undressing: un-buttoning her coat and shirt.

"I just picked up a complete stranger in a hotel bar and he's in the bathroom right now, possibly doing drugs."

Next went the shoes and blouse. _Oh boy... here we go_, Tricia thought.

"Watch as I have sex with this potentially dangerous man, as we take you in depth, and undercover."

_If you know what I mean... _She winked at the camera: it made for good measure. As she turned around, wearing nothing but her undergarments, she saw him yet again. Glenn Quagmire, already in bed.

He slyly chucked and bobbed his head, eyeing her figure.

"Never had a Spanish chick before, he he... OOOHLAY!"

"I'll have you know I'm Pure-Blood Japanese."

"All the more fun!"

"You got a weird sense of humor... I kinda like it."

"Well I kinda like your boobs... shall we?"

Tricia wrinkled her nose, "Lets."

The news report dragged on. Tricia and Quagmire had some over-the-top intercourse. The two were on live TV, so it had to be good. She went on and described (in full-detail) all the sex positions and pleasure tools she had up her sleeve. Quagmire went along with it... obviously.

After a half-hour (it took a while to describe everything), they were done. With a big gasp, the two fell on their backs and relaxed.

"And that folks... was sex. We hope you were well-informed and educated by this report. Back to you Diane..." Tricia breathed, throwing down her microphone.

"And we're clear." The camera man began to pack up the supplies.

Tricia and Quagmire stayed in bed a little longer, sighing.

"My... that was wonderful." Tricia said. "I gotta say, you're... quite the love-maker."

"Thanks... and you're a bit kinky yourself... and a bit short on height, I was surprised anything fit."

"It's how I am."

"Well whatever you do, don't change it."

"You know what?" Tricia sat up and turned to him. "I bet you're the kind of guy who sleeps with women non-stop and doesn't think twice about it."

"And I bet you're a brainy-woman because that is correct-a-mundo!"

"You always have a line don't you?"

"Yep!"

"I like that... it shows confidence, like you could take on anything."

"I'd like to take on that ass another time."

Tricia laughed as she got out of bed and put on her clothing. Quagmire locked his eyes on her every move. "I like the way you jiggle your rump when you put on a blouse."

"Hey! Quick peeking." she blushed, turning her head to him.

"So does that mean we're done here?" Quagmire asked, getting out of bed too.

"Yep, I gotta head back to the station, this is the last report of the night."

"Aww... but I'll miss you."

Tricia took that to the heart. Blushing fiercer, she turned back to him. "You are just something else! Don't worry, you'll see me again tomorrow on TV at 6:00."

"Okay. I'll make sure I'm up... unless I'm hung-over."

"I know what'll make you wake up... how about I throw in a shout-out. You don't want to miss that."

"Oh definitely! Thanks!" Quagmire put on the last of his things and escorted Tricia out.

Before Tricia got back into the news van, she turned to him one last time. "Hey... I don't think I caught your name?"

"Quagmire... Glenn Quagmire."

"Glenn... that's such a rare name."

"Yeah I know... and you're Tricia... Take-a-shower?"

She giggled, "it's Takanawa... and yes. I'm surprised you don't know that already."

"Well, I don't always watch the news... but now I have a reason to!"

With a big smile, Tricia waved seductively, "see yah big man."

She closed the side-door.

...

Arriving at the station, Tricia twirled through the halls accidentally bumping into Diane Simmons.

"Oop! Sorry!"

"It's okay." Diane, "that was a very excellent report."

"Thanks!" Tricia hugged her best friend.

"So... what happened afterward? You know... the guy?"

"Well, his name is Glenn Quagmire and he was very polite with me. He's so smart and classy and he... well, liked my body."

Diane quickly changed her mood, "Uh oh... sounds like another typical jerk."

"No he isn't! He's really sweet."

"Uh huh?" she wasn't buying it. "Tell me, when he talked to you how much did he stare at your bosoms?"

Tricia laughed, "Oh stop. Okay, so maybe he did like looking at me, but I think he really likes me."

"Do you feel the same way?"

"Hell yeah! I love him to death!"

Diane was silent for a bit, "you _love_ him?"

"Yeah."

"Oh Tricia, Tricia, Tricia... you're one of my true friends, don't ever make the mistake of 'love'... it always comes and bites you."

"I think you're overreacting. Tell you what, I plan on visiting him tomorrow night after the broadcast... I'll finally prove to you he's a good guy."

"Fair enough." Diane smirked.

...

When the clock struck 7:00, Tricia drove her way to Quagmire's house. She managed to find it on Google Maps by typing his last name.

She walked up to his doorstep, with a fancy dress and everything... she really wanted to make her love official. She ringed the doorbell and sure enough, he came out. He had a can of beer in one hand.

"Hey Glenn! Guess who?" Tricia teased, poking him in the chest.

"Uh... um... I don't recall."

"Silly you! So, how have you been? Did you get to see the shout-out?"

"Shout-out? What are you talking about?"

Tricia giggled, "oh you're just a card! Um... I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a walk in the park or whatever? I have something important to tell you."

"Listen lady, I don't even know who the hell you are. And I don't intend on going out tonight because I have my own lady here."

Tricia felt like she had a weight dropped on top of her. "...What?"

"Glenn? Who's out there?" A woman called from inside.

"Just some broad. I'll be there in a minute." Glenn turned to her, "get lost Ching Chong." With that, he shut the door in her face.

For an entire minute, Tricia stood there, no knowing what to do.

She quietly turned around and got inside her car. She put the key in the ignition and drove to the park.

Not bothering to get out, she unbuckled and curled up in her seat.

_**To be Continued...**_

_Well... what's this then? Another big story? Indeed. For you__ Family Guy__ fans, this entire story was somewhat inspired by that fateful scene from "Brian in Love." So what will come out of this? Find out soon! _

_**Hank_o_Holic**_


End file.
